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MY KINGDOM FOR A DILDO!   
I’m envious of the dildoboys of today, with the world at their fingertips. Any toy they want a few clicks and a paypal charge away. 
When I was in high school I tried just about everything I could as a dildo. One day in a store I saw a shovel that had a long phallic shaped sleeve on the handle. The pervy lightbulb went off in my head and I bought that sucker on the spot. A short time later I was home and had it shoved up my ass. Oh good times. 
The problem was, after I was done, I washed up, me and it both. Then I set it down on a table in the living room for a moment for some reason. And then forgot about it. So there it sat on the table for a day and a half, this obvious dildo looking thing, right next to a jar of Vaseline. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure it out.  I don’t know if my sister saw it, but I know my father did. And I know he must have known what I was doing with it. He had his own dildos and liked to fuck himself, so I knew there were no doubts when he saw it. He never did mention it though.
(Edited to add: I wrote in my post “Dad’s dildo and my anal virginity” that dad had his own dildos. I assumed at the time he used them on his girlfriends. Then one day when no one was home home, I was watching one of his porn tapes like I always did. Out of nowhere, in the middle of the movie the real movie cut out, taped over by home video footage. Of course of my dad leaned over the dining room table, working the bigger dildo in and out of his ass. Yeah, I was a bit shocked by the image, not something I’d really needed to see. lmao  I wasn’t shocked that he was doing it, heck I was doing it, but I didn’t need to see it. That was an awkward dash for the remote for sure. :) I saw a few more things like that over the years, all with pretty much the same reaction. “Ah, where’s the eye bleach!”)

MY KINGDOM FOR A DILDO!   

I’m envious of the dildoboys of today, with the world at their fingertips. Any toy they want a few clicks and a paypal charge away. 

When I was in high school I tried just about everything I could as a dildo. One day in a store I saw a shovel that had a long phallic shaped sleeve on the handle. The pervy lightbulb went off in my head and I bought that sucker on the spot. A short time later I was home and had it shoved up my ass. Oh good times. 

The problem was, after I was done, I washed up, me and it both. Then I set it down on a table in the living room for a moment for some reason. And then forgot about it. So there it sat on the table for a day and a half, this obvious dildo looking thing, right next to a jar of Vaseline. You didn’t have to be a genius to figure it out.  I don’t know if my sister saw it, but I know my father did. And I know he must have known what I was doing with it. He had his own dildos and liked to fuck himself, so I knew there were no doubts when he saw it. He never did mention it though.

(Edited to add: I wrote in my post “Dad’s dildo and my anal virginity” that dad had his own dildos. I assumed at the time he used them on his girlfriends. Then one day when no one was home home, I was watching one of his porn tapes like I always did. Out of nowhere, in the middle of the movie the real movie cut out, taped over by home video footage. Of course of my dad leaned over the dining room table, working the bigger dildo in and out of his ass. Yeah, I was a bit shocked by the image, not something I’d really needed to see. lmao  I wasn’t shocked that he was doing it, heck I was doing it, but I didn’t need to see it. That was an awkward dash for the remote for sure. :) I saw a few more things like that over the years, all with pretty much the same reaction. “Ah, where’s the eye bleach!”)

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